No. 2 – The introverted method:
The last post was about the extroverted method. Now it’s about sorting out most of our plans with ourselves first. Here, especially in the beginning, we don’t discuss it with anyone. At this stage, my grandma used to say, “It’s not yet ripe to speak about,” while my grandpa used to say, “Never say I will, always say I did.”
The advantages of this method:
THE SECRET – Our dreams are the most precious thing we carry inside us. But they are so fragile. People, circumstances, words, and ourselves can easily shatter them. Therefore, we must protect them from ourselves and from others. By not talking about it, we create our secret and put it in a save. We do not allow people to judge or decide our goals, influence us, or dissuade us. The temptation to talk about it is enormous. After all, we think about it all the time. But the more we resist the urge, the firmer and stronger our will to achieve the goal develops. We become aware that other people, be it our loving parents or best friend, cannot make the decisions and take the path for us. So who benefits from talking about it?
AVOIDING TOXIC PRESSURE – When we work on our goals, we already put a lot of pressure on ourselves and have expectations of ourselves. We are our worst critics and work daily to develop better habits. The fight against our self-doubt and inner resistance requires much effort from us. We quickly feel alone in the process. But if you look at it closely, that’s where the power lies. We learn a lot about ourselves, how we work, think, and decide best to get closer to our goal. Since we don’t talk about it, we eliminate any outside pressure. We don’t have to prove anything or be accountable to anyone. Only ourselves. And that is by far enough.
The downside:
A SOLID BUT LONG ROAD TO GO: as mentioned in the last post, people can support and encourage us along the way. They can give helpful advice and introduce us to people who can get us to our goal faster. If we don’t talk about our plan, we will have to learn only from our own mistakes. This will strengthen us internally. But there is nothing reprehensible about learning from the mistakes of others and embracing help. For that, however, we would have to tell them first.
I have somewhat exaggerated both methods, and there is not only one or the other way. As always in life, the dose makes the poison. The more we try and observe ourselves, the quicker we find out which method is more appropriate for our personality.
Personally, I have found that the introverted method suits me. Looking back, this has always been the case. The most significant decisions in my life I first negotiated with myself, i.e., the decisions to study design, travel abroad for several months, and to become self-employed. Only when the determination in me has grown enough, do I find the courage to share it with others.
How is it with you? Where do you see yourself? Feel free to let me know via email.